The Code says, “I will display caring and honorable behavior off the field and be a positive influence in my community and world.”

This year was the 50^th Anniversary of Arthur Ashe’s winning of the inaugural U. S. Open Men’s Tennis Championship, and at the same time being the first African-American to win a Grand Slam Championship.  Those old enough to remember Ashe remember his explosive serve and complete game as a player, and his quiet elegance and determination as a human being to make the world a better place. Sport has too rarely offered his equal as a role model. One of the things he said was, “Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.”  In what ways in your life is “the doing more important than the outcome?”  What does this mean to you?  

Everyone in America knows that Colin Kaepernick “took a knee” two years ago to bring attention to racial injustice in our country.  Peaceful, non-violent protest was the driving force of the civil rights movement and it’s hard to imagine a more peaceful protest.  However, everyone also knows that many took offense at his doing that, believing that it was inappropriate and disrespectful of our country, and of those who had served and given their lives for it.  For the past two years many of those on both sides of this issue have yelled past each other, neither conceding any truth to the other side.  Nike, the official apparel company of the NFL (and countless other sports and teams), has now come down on the side of Kaepernick.  We have always believed that sport should be an arena that transcends politics, but every now and then it becomes a reflection of the issues of society (Jackie Robinson [Civil Rights] or Muhammed Ali [Viet Nam war] being easy examples).  Angry voices have only deepened the divide.  What are the ways in which you and your team can demonstrate understanding and compassion for both sides of this debate?  Is there a way in which you can “respect the dignity of every human being and not be abusive or dehumanizing of the other?”   There is no easy way out of this challenge, but listening to the other and trying to understand what they are saying is always the first step; it’s not easy to “do it.”

John McCain is being remembered this week for many reasons.  How do you think his life reflected the Code?  He certainly gave his best effort, played by the rules, was a positive influence on others, and conducted himself with honor.  He put team goals ahead of personal goals; while a prisoner of war he was given the opportunity  to go free, but refused since the Navy expected prisoners to be released in the order in which they were captured, and as a team player he did not want special treatment.  We think his most outstanding trait was his courage, which was reflected not just in war, but in his courage to tell the truth as he understood it, and to act according to his conscience, and not what was politically expected.  This courage led others to refer to him as a “maverick.”  In what ways would you like to be considered a maverick?

One of the challenging aspects of any team sport is developing the team as a unit that cares about each other and is committed to each other.  A team becomes a “team” as the result of the efforts of the coaches, captains and leadership of the team.  We believe that one of the best ways to do this is by including a team service project.  The more we do things together, the closer we become.   As a new season begins, we’d suggest inviting the members of the team to consider what they might like to do to give back to their community.  Some members are probably already participating in a charitable organization, so hopefully, there would be several suggestions made and the team could talk about it and choose one (or more!).  It could be done on a weekend afternoon, or several.  The team could invite another team to participate with them – or even take leadership be creating a school wide “One day of service” project.  The Code says, “I will work toward the goal of giving a significant amount of my time and income for the betterment of my community and world.”

Ohio State football coach Urban Meyer is being investigated because one of his assistant coaches apparently was abusive to his wife.  The question is whether Urban knew about it, because if he did, he was obligated by the university to take some sort of action.  We do not know what the facts are but this story reminds us again of how the world is changing.  Many of us grew up in a world where the “normal” behavior was not to become involved in issues and problems not directly related to us.  Many people would not report someone who cheated on a test, for example, or someone who broke a rule.  Few would not get involved in someone’s marriage.  But the standards and expectations have changed, and those in positions of responsibility are expected, if not obligated, to report any behavior which is known to them which is inappropriate.  Teachers must report child abuse when they detect it, and employers increasingly require employees to report any kind of illegal or inappropriate conduct.  This is a good thing, but it sometimes requires courage on the part of the accuser.  What are your thoughts on this?  Have you known any cases that directly affected you or someone you know?  What about bullying – either verbally or physically?  Have you and your friends discussed this issue?  What is the proper response to this problem – either in person or on social media?  Rather than focus on Urban Meyer, we should look at our own environment and ask if there are issues we should be discussing.

Painted on the wall in large letters in the L L Bean store in Freeport, Maine, is the following:

Sell good merchandise at a reasonable profit, treat your customers like human beings and they will always come back for more.    – Leon Leonwood Bean

The message is a simple one:  Be fair and be kind.  What thoughts do you have when you read this?  Have you ever heard of LL Bean?  Who are some people or some stores that you think this would apply to?  Who would it not apply to?  Why?  What words would you like to hear people use to describe you and your teammates?   The Code expects us to play by the rules and to respect the dignity of all people.  When is this difficult for you?

Watching the World Cup games reminded us again of “the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat,” and of why we play any game.  We do it for fun; games should be fun.  We also play games because we enjoy the reward and satisfaction of getting better as we practice and play.   It’s exciting to be able to see yourself improve with effort – all of that is part of the fun.  We play because we want to test ourselves, to see how we’re doing by competing against others.  In playing games, we learn in a very practical way many life lessons: the importance of daily effort, discipline, playing by the rules, teamwork and the will to succeed.  By playing any sport we “win” in so many ways. Unfortunately, in far too many situations today, the pressure to win has distorted these basic values.  So where are you in all of this?  As an athlete, do you wake up in the morning excited for the opportunity to play again?  As a parent, are you being a positive support? As a coach, what are your goals for the team?  There is so much more in any game than the final score, and the response of the people in Croatia to their team’s final defeat was a great lesson in “winning more than the game.”

“I will place team goals ahead of personal goals.”

It’s hard to remember when the entire world has been more riveted to an event  than the rescue of the Thai boys soccer team stranded in the cave.  It took the effort of over 1,000 people to save what seemed to be a doomed effort, especially when a Seal diver died before the actual rescue began.  How was this possible?  We know the answer: it was possible because of the determination and teamwork of people from many nations.  The idea that each person was totally dependent on another person along the chain of the rescue is a powerful image for us.  What if we counted on our teammates, and were as committed to them and to the success of our team, as if our lives depended on it?  Playing on our team is not a matter of life and death, and neither is winning, but what can we learn from this event?  What are the small ways we can each become a better teammate?

Christiano Ronaldo, generally regarded as the greatest soccer player in the world, saw his team, Portugal, fall behind at the 62^nd minute when Uruguay’s Edinson Cavani scored his second goal of the game.  Then, less than ten minutes later, Cavani was injured and was trying to limp off the field.  While play continued, Ronaldo went to help him in an extraordinary display of sportsmanship. 

The Code begins, “Because I am a role model with the opportunity and responsibility to make a difference in the lives of others…”  It is important to remember that people are always watching and observing our behavior; we are all role models.   Ronaldo’s act of sportsmanship was a great message to players young and old, about the importance of Winning More Than The Game!

As the World Cup unfolds soccer fans are thrilled with the games, with great plays, great mistakes, and unexpected outcomes.  Soccer is perhaps the best example of any sport in which one great player is not enough to win.  It takes a group of players totally willing and committed to putting team goals ahead of any personal goals they may have.  When the Code says, “I will put team goals ahead of personal goals,” what does that mean to you?  What are you going to give up, or do differently in your sport than you would if you didn’t put the team first? Can you think of several things?   Would your teammates be able to tell?  How committed to that goal are you really?