Coaches and Parents: Problems and Challenges
By Craig Clifford and Randolph M. Feezell
ABW Senior Writers

Parents are the biggest problem many coaches have to face.

A common problem is the result of those parents who have unrealistic expectations for their children. They expect their child to be one of the stars of the team. It may be that this is because when they were younger they excelled in sport, or it may be quite the opposite.

Often the parent, who was not athletic, pushes the child to excel where they did not. In either case the result is the same, the parent is somehow trying to live or relive their life through their child. Consequently, these parents push their child too much. Rather than allow the child to enjoy the game, they often force the child to do far more practicing than the child desires, and put constant pressure on the child during any contest by the words shouted from the sideline.

Another common problem is the result of those parents for whom winning is the most important thing. These parents focus more on winning than on the other values that are a part of sport and competition. These include: the discipline of training, the value of being a part of a team, learning and improving in the skills of the sport, the opportunity to test your skills against a worthy opponent, and the satisfaction of having given your best effort.

So, what is the coach to do? We suggest these six steps:

1. The coach should have a meeting with the parents at the beginning of the season, as near the first practice as possible. It is important that the coach’s goals and purposes be understood up front.
   
   
2. The coach should have a written set of goals that are passed out to the parents. These could include such things as skill development, character formation, as well as the place of winning. Discuss the goals with parents, so that the coach’s priorities are clear. Give parents the opportunity to express their feelings, but the coach should not compromise on his or her values.
   
   
3. The coach’s expectations of the parents as well as of the players should also be written down. The coach, for example, expects the players to be present at every practice. The coach expects the parents never to be abusive of anyone at any time.
   
   
4. The coach should make it clear that participation on the team requires acceptance of the goals and expectations. It may be that the coach would ask the players and the parents to sign such a statement.
   
   
5. The coach should be clear about what the discipline will be for violations of the goals and expectations.
   
   
6. The coach should encourage both players and parents to join ABW. In this way, the positive values of the coach will be reinforced by ABW.